i've loved you for a thousand years (love you for a thousand more)
by noteonthedoor
Summary: She first sees him in a dream — Captain Swan AU, one-shot, Complete.


**N/A:** I speak to you all still drowning in strong, uncomprehended feelings for the season 4 finale. My heart still needs a lot of mending before I could possibly write something with deeper character development, so instead I'll give you a super fluffy CS family baby fic.

 **English is not my main language, so please be kind.** Also, this is my first time writing Captain Swan therefore, I'm sorry if it's rubbish. I've tried my best.

 _Disclaimer:_ I do not own Once Upon a Time or its characters or Killian and Emma would live in a perfect bubble away from the problems they keep getting their butts dragged into. The title of this piece is from _A Thousand Years_ , by Christina Perri.

* * *

She first sees him in a dream.

It's not common for her to remember the nature of the alternative realities she travels to while she sleeps, but even in her ethereal state, she knows she'll recall this in the morning.

There's grass underneath the picnic towel where she seats upon, and her surroundings tell her she's probably at a small park, but she doesn't recognize it. There's a baskett behind her, somehow she knows, filled with goods she had probably baked herself. Blueberry, she thinks. Killian loves blueberries. That has always been the filling of their pastries and their pancakes. This time would be no different. Her husband, however, is nowhere to be seen.

Emma only notices the presence besides her when a gentle touch presses her arm, drawing her eyes to her other direction. Her breath's caught on her throat as she looks at him, sitting next to her with an invisible halo of innocence. He smiles at her, a side smile that could only belong to one person in the world. The dark brown hair — almost black, but she knows better — and those unbelieavable eyes of Sinatra blue, like a million of constelations exploded behind its intense color. His skin, pearl white, and dimples across his cheeks. He's the most beautiful child she has ever seen.

"Mama", He says then, a sweet voice that tugs at the strings of her heart even though she has never heard it before. His arms are stretched out to her, his small hands opening and closing as if he's coaching her.

She picks him up, the smell of baby powder and cookie dough overwhelming her as she holds the boy close. He embraces her and she feels his smile against her shoulder. Emma's not sure why, but tears prickle behind her eyes, maybe because this is so familiar and yet so unknown. Her free hand cradles his head gently, and when she turns her head to kiss his temple, there's an unpleasant pull at her bellybutton and the whole scenario vanishes.

She's awake in her bed, eyes facing the ceiling and an unsettling feeling in her stomach. Her arms feel too empty, but she manages to control the ache on her throat before she turns her head to the side and finds her sleeping companion, the perfect match to the boy she had just held as her own. Reaching out to him, she caresses his cheek gently, his dark stub tickling her thumb as she does so.

A smile creeps upon her lips and she no longer feels sad. She's certain her dream had just given her a peek into their future.

* * *

The following morning, Killian notices her not so oblivious smiles over breakfast as soon as she starts shooting them. Their pancakes have even more blueberries and she pours an extra amount of syrup on his plate before handing it over to him with his usual cup of coffee.

"Everything alright, love?" He raises a knowing eyebrow at her as he sits on his usual spot at the kitchen table. She follows him soon after, completely unaware of the big flour circle on her left cheek until Killian leans in and gently rubs it off. "You seem... Agitated."

"I'm good. Just... Ready to start the day." Emma smiles and starts eating her own pancakes just as Killian shoots her a skeptical look, but questions her no more.

As usual, Killian leaves before her, placing a kiss on her lips and wishing her a good day at work. She reciprocates, waving goodbye stupidly until he's out the door, glancing at her curiously before he shuts it closed. Doing the dishes is more of a chore than it ever is just because she's in such a hurry to get out of their apartment and rush to her destination.

Once she's ready, dressed to go to work after her first task of the day, she grabs her car keys and drives to the nearest pharmacy. She's at the point of shaking when she reaches the aisle entitled "Woman's Health" and grabs no less than five boxes. Before she goes to the register to pay, however, she collects a water bottle from the small stand near the chewing gums and starts with the big sips as she waits for her turn. Fuck her, she's nearly bouncing. It's pathetic, but she doesn't care. She's only buying those tests to confirm what she already knows anyway.

* * *

The sound of Emma's high heels clicking over the floor is annoying even to herself as she rushes out of the elevator and pushes the glass doors of the entrance of the firm. As usual, there's a small chaos at the reception and several other lawyers stop their yelling or their reading of documents to say good morning which she promptly replies to.

Instead of going straight to her office, she turns left and heads for the bathrooms, locking herself in a stall and sitting before pulling out one of the boxes from her purse. The water bottle she has completely drained at the drug store is now pressing against her bladder and she's all relief when she finally obtains that goddamned stick away from his plastic container and uses it.

The five minutes feel like an era. Emma's not even bothered when other women come and go as she waits, glancing at her watch every two seconds. She's mildly entertained listening to two of her coworkers discussing tampon brands when one of her insistent keeks at the watch reveal her she's ready. Emma closes her eyes as she unwraps the white stick from the toilet paper she has wrapped it in, and is glad for the sudden silence in the room as she takes a deep breath.

Her eyes open, and her stomach feels funny. How ridiculous is she, crying _again_ , but she can't help herself. She has waited way too long for this, for a family, and even though she already has one with Killian now it's only going to get bigger. Her free hand touches her still flat stomach and she giggles to herself, because hadn't it been for her dream, she would have never suspected.

It takes her a small eternity to shake her awe off and force herself up and decent again. She wraps the test up again before tossing it away, the other four waiting to be taken inside her purse as she washes her hands and leaves. Emma's nearly floating when she reaches her office, grabbing the files of new cases of murders and armed robbery as if she's reading a playbook, and she's glad she doesn't have to share that space with anyone or they'd be certain she had gone mad.

Her hand itches for her phone, to call Killian and tell him right on that instant, but she wants to see the look on his face when she tells him, so she waits, burying herself into work to distract herself so the hours will go by faster.

(They don't. She ends up taking the four other tests through the day and they all come back positive, thank you very much).

* * *

That evening, Killian's home before she is, and she's greeted by that blessed-by-God smile as soon as she joins him on the couch. He's watching his favourite show, something from freaking Cartoon Network called _Uncle Grandpa_ that involves a giant girl tiger, a dinosaur, a talking _pizza_ for Christ's sakeand a mustached man that seems to enjoy exploding things. She really is married to a seven year old.

"How was work?" She asks, and he lowers the volume before he turns to her to answer.

"The usual, love. You know how it is when it comes down to shifts at the hospital. A lot of people with flu who think they have cancer, is all." Killian smiles and touches her face. It never ceases to amaze her how her husband of now four years still looked at her like she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. They'd been together for almost a decade, and he still looked as in love as he was when he proposed. "What about you?"

"Nothing new either." She replies, leaning into his touch and kissing the palm of his hand before she takes his free one in hers and squeezes it gently. "I have something to tell you, actually. That was why I have been bouncing like an idiot since you woke up today", She confesses.

"Ah, so there _was_ something on your mind." Killian squeezes at the tip of her nose playfully. "Well, I am all ears."

"I had a dream last night", She begins, biting on her lower lip before she continues.

"It must have been a pleasant one at least if I was in it." Killian wiggles his eyebrows at her and she smirks but shakes her head, and he turns serious again, ready to listen.

"You actually weren't a part of it. Or maybe you were and I woke up before you appeared, but that's not the point. I was... at a park. About to participate on a picnic, apparently. And I thought I was alone until I saw a kid next to me. A little boy. Couldn't have been more than two years old." Emma's chest warms as she remembers his smile, a smile identical to the man that sits in front of her now. "And he looked just like you. He had your hair, your eyes. Even your dimples." Emma graces the barely notable holes in his skin as she speaks, then, raising her hands from his lap.

"Your smile." As in cue, Killian that was so far quiet smiles as well. "And he... He called me his mother", she blushes. "It ended right after, but... He was ours. I knew so. And I know it's silly, but... I felt something then. I know we never truly discussed kids, that we were both so caught up in our carreers that there wasn't even time to consider it back when we married, but I know it is something you have always wanted. And I, as well. Having a family is important to both of us. I know how much."

"What are you saying, darling?" She notices a slow flow of hope that settles into Killian's eyes, and she's so happy she's the one to tell him that he _can_ hope because this is real. She doesn't answer him, just takes his hand and leads to her cloth covered stomach with an hesitant smile.

"I found out today. I couldn't shake the feeling that the dream meant something, so I—"

She's interrupted by his kiss, so intense that it nearly swipes her off her feet. His hand on her belly clutches her shirt and when he pulls away, the color of his eyes look lighter with tears. She's crying as well, cheeks wet with a cry that she seemed to be holding back for too long. "You have made me the happiest man on this planet. Or any other, for that matter." He kisses her again and the look on his face is enough to bring along a whole new batch of tears to her eyes. Damn that man for turning her into such a sap.

"We're going to be a family." Emma says shakily, and it can only be magic that erases every pain of abandonment she has suffered in the past, erases all of the foster families that didn't want her, the days at the orphanage, everything. She would go through that hell again if it meant she could be where she was now.

"We are a family", Killian corrects her, and she nods in agreement with a tearful smile. He leans in then, and to the soundtrack of _Uncle Grandpa_ blowing up his trailer yet again, kisses the spot under her bellybutton lovingly.

* * *

It doesn't take long for Emma to start showing, and it is just then that she realizes she must've been pregnant for at least two months when she first found out. It's a little thing, just a ridiculous swell on her lower stomach, but it's more than enough for Killian not to keep his hands off of it. Things at the office must've been so hectic the time they concieved the baby she must've missed the lack of her periods, not that it matters now.

She has a doctor for a husband, as Killian insists to remind her everytime he has a recommendation for her. Don't drink this, drink _that,_ sit like this, lay down like that and yada yada yada. He's a cardiologist, but he keeps repeating that he has gone to college nonetheless and that meant he knew _everything_ about a woman and her reproductive system along with the baby's development.

(Days after she told him about the pregnancy, Killian had entered their apartment with an unhealthy pile of books on pregnancy, so she's certain he's more sure of himself for reading them than from actually being a doctor).

Nevertheless, Killian tags along for her first ultrasound. After she answers a pack of embarrassing questions from the doctor, she's weighed by his assistant and led to the chair where the exam will take place. Just as in the cliché movies, the gel is too cold and she flinches, but Killian is right there to hold her hand. They both cry _again_ like two idiots when the bean shaped dot comes to screen with a strong heartbeat, and Killian irritates the doctor until he agrees to print them several copies of the ultrasound — "in all sizes available, please, kind doctor".

(Later that night, Emma spots him putting one of the littlest print screens of their baby's image inside his wallet and smiles, because it doesn't even look like a real baby yet and Killian's already the best father the kid could possibly have).

(When she wakes that morning to make them breakfast there is a bigger print screen on the refrigerator).

* * *

Their friends become a huge pain in the ass to deal with after they share the news.

Mary Margaret is constantly dragging her to baby stores — and although she admits it all looks hella cute and she sorts wants to buy everything, it _is_ too early — and David fights Killian on the unnecessary task of pulling the chair for her to sit. Graham doesn't even hug her properly when she greets him now, afraid he'll hurt the baby. Ruby has bought her pregnant woman lingerie and she has to laugh, because she still (barely) fits her normal lingerie, excuse her.

They have pizza night at the Nolan's every now and then, and just as Emma enters the kitchen with Mary Margaret to wash the dishes, they find they respective husbands talking baby names over beers, and it is too early, but her smile is as bright as the sun.

* * *

Fucking second trimester is going to be the death of her.

She's five months along now, with a much bigger stomach and is left with ugly pregnant woman outwear, those ridiculous dresses and oversized pants she dreads to use, especially because she still refuses to go to work despite Killian's protests. She feels the baby move, though, so that is a compensation for looking like a bag of thrash everytime she leaves their apartment.

"How does it feel?" Killian questions her one night as they lay out in bed. She has the file for a new case on her right hand and _What to Expect When You're Expecting_ on the other, Killian's head nuzzled against her side.

"Mm?" She questions then, mixing up a phrase about sensitive breasts and the name of the defendant before she closes the file, defeated, and glances down at her husband, tangling her now free hand in on his soft hair.

"When the lad moves." He explains, hand reaching out to caress her belly as he does on every opportunity he gets. It'll still take about a month until Killian can feel the baby kick, and Emma knows he's anxious.

"Like popping popcorn." They both smile and fall into a comfortable silence as she caresses her husband's dark locks. A few moments later, however, she feels the fluttering near her bladder (always) and despite the sudden urge to pee, she speaks. "He has just moved. Although I'm sure his point was to poke my bladder because he certainly has something against it, I think he's listening to you."

Killian's eyes almost turn into a pair of hearts as he kisses her protuberant stomach and then glues his ear to it the following second. "Hi, little lad. Me and your mother are very anxious to meet you. And please be kind to her bladder. Never forget you are a gentleman, like your old man." Emma rolls her eyes at that, and the little flutter repeats right next to where Killian is.

"He—

"I know." Killian looks up at her with the biggest smile, one that makes her wonder why she didn't have ten kids with him already. "I've felt it."

* * *

"Liam." Emma announces one day, as Killian finishes fixing a shelf on the spare room recently painted blue. She's seven months along now, with an even bigger stomach, so they had started on the nursery soon before she's had the baby shower with all of her friends (and to be honest, some very excited women that she didn't even know, but they got her kid gifts, so it's not like it mattered).

Killian turns from his spot with a puzzled look, and soon is occupied with settling the animal plushies and a few toys against the very shelf he had just put up. The rest of the room is clearly pirate-themed, much to her husband's insistance, but she has to confess it looks adorable now that it's pratically ready.

Emma walks towards the crib with the adorable pirate setting, the several little ships against blue. She imagines her so wanted child lying there in just two months time and her heart speeds a little. "Liam", she repeats, going over to Killian and wrapping her arms around his waist from behind (as far as her belly allows her) and pressing her face onto her back. "I want to name our son Liam."

He turns then, gently not to hurt her, and pulls her into his arms as tightly as he can, pressing a kiss to her forehead then. "Are you sure, love?"

"Yes." Emma replies, smiling up at him and placing a kiss to his chest. Killian had lost his brother two years after they had started dating, in an accident, and even though now he had accepted his lost, Emma knew he never was the same after it.

"Thank you." Killian breathes as he hugs her again, and it isn't a breath of relief, but of happiness.

* * *

"I hate you." Emma shreeks from the passenger's seat, her eyes narrowing towards her husband as she holds onto the cushion underneath her for support.

"Emma, please take deep breaths." Killian pleads as he starts the car, looking both panicked and excited, but most definitely scared of the offenses she had been throwing his way since her water broke about fifteen minutes before their current situation.

"I _hate_ you!" She repeats as a particular strong contraction flows through her body, eyes closing as they finally, _finally_ start moving towards the nearest hospital which she knows it's not so close. Their baby seems to be in a hurry. Emma envied those women she had read about in the books, women who were content and felt no pain after their water broke, that would only feel the contractions an hour or two after their arrival at the hospital. She really had no luck.

"Alright, love, you can hate me as hard as you desire but take those deep breaths for me now." Killian begs her as they stopped to a red light. "It'll help."

Reluctantly — because she wants to do anything but something he asks her to — she finds a rythm to her breathing, inhaling and exhaling slowly. It doesn't stop the pain, but she feels less desperate, like she can handle this. She repeats the proccess all the way to the hospital. Killian parks the car, and in a second is by her side lifting her huge form into his strong arms. Right before he puts her into the wheelchair a pair of nurses brought after seeing them from the emergency room, she locks eyes with his.

"Killian", she calls, and he looks at her, temporarily distracted from his course of action.

"Mm?"

"I don't hate you."

* * *

Turns out their baby is in a hurry, because only one hour and a half later — the doctor compliments her on her dilacting skills and Killian is enraged to say the least — she's sitting on her hospital bed with the small bundle in her arms, all dressed in blue and wrapped up to keep him from the November cold.

"He's so beautiful." Emma repeats from what must've been the millionth time.

"Aye." Killian agrees right next to her. He hadn't left her for even a second since the doctors and nurses left them alone. Emma knows they'll have to take little Liam away soon for tests, and they have to call their friends, but she can't think of anything right now but to stare at the part of her that rests on her embrace.

Just as she knew he would be, Liam was the spitting image of his father. The dark tuffs of hair on his little head are just as soft as Killian's, and from the two minutes Emma had him awake his eyes were of the same surreal blue. His skin is creamy and alb, and even though she'll only know for sure when he smiles weeks from now, Emma's certain he has dimples on the very same spot as his dad.

After admiring Liam for a little while longer, she leans in and presses a kiss to his temple like she wished she could've done to him in her dreams. "I have waited for so long to meet you." Emma confesses in a low voice. "I love you." She refrains herself from starting to cry all over again when she raises her head and gestures for Killian to come closer. He does. "Now, Liam, this is your father." She announces in the proudest tone she can manage being so worn out as she transfers the baby carefully into Killian's arms.

Killian hesitates. Emma knows he held babies before, several times even (Mary Margaret and David's daughter, Dany, loved her uncle Killian ever since she was little) but she understand his mild concern. This is their _son._ She has had the very same insecurities when the nurse had first handed him over, still dirty and covered in goo. Once their son is in Killian's arms, however, they both smile knowing he has belonged there all along.

The look on Killian's face as he talks and coos over their son is enough to make Emma love him a thousand times more, if that was even possible. She loves him so much, loves _them_ so, so much it is a sort of feeling that wouldn't fit her body. "And no matter what your mother says, she was the one who asked me out on a date first." Killian smirks over to Emma as he finishes that particular sentence, but her eyelids are already half closed.

Emma falls asleep to the sound of Killian murmuring words of love and worship to Liam, promising him to always protect him and his mother. In her slumber, she smiles. This is her future.

* * *

As Emma expected, Liam looks more like Killian everyday. He had given her his first smile (with dimples!) a little after he completed his first month as being, as Emma's certain, the most loved kid in the world. His facial expressions were more specific now, and it brought her a rush of satisfaction to being the one to cause Liam's eyes to soften everytime she comes to view.

It isn't easy, having a kid. The midnight feeds and the changed diapers leave both Emma and Killian exhausted. She hates her shirts, all stained of milk, and she's sure the breast pump is an evil device created for torture, but they soon fall over a routine that works for the three of them.

If she had taken the role of being a mother easily, Killian was born for his job as a father. He took it so naturally Emma often teased him about him having another child somewhere he had helped raising that she didn't know about. She might be Liam's mother, but it's incredible how Killian and Liam communicate with looks (or with her husband babbling just like her son does).

His first word is "Ma" and Killian loses the bet he has placed with Graham and David, but just a couple of days after, her husband is giving Liam a bath when the baby reaches an arm out to him and murmurs a very proud "Da".

(Killian records it with his phone when Liam repeats the sylable again and shows it to everyone they know on every opportunity he gets, going all proud like "this is my son" and it is adorable).

* * *

They take Liam to the park one day, with a picnic baskett and a red and white towel.

He's two now, and time is going by way too fast for her liking. By now there is no denying he is Killian Jones' son, with not only the identical appearence but with the same love for blueberries, pirate ships and _Uncle Grandpa._

Once they reach their location, they set up the towel and the baskett and Emma sits by Liam's side just as Killian says he'll be back soon since he had forgotten to lock the car. She feels a small hand in her arm and her whole chest tightens as she looks his way, nostalgia overwhelming her as he calls her 'Mama' and she picks him up to place a heatfelt kiss to his temple. It was her dream coming true, the dream that had started everything, that had brought them to this very moment. This time, it is real.

When Killian returns they make a mess out of blueberry pancakes and syrup, Liam's little plaid shirt (A dorky match to his father's) sticky with its content. Emma removes the piece of clothing before allowing her son to play with his pirate ship toy near the river — over hers and Killian's hawkeye's watch, of course — when Killian tilts her face to kiss her.

"I love you." When he tells her, she gets the same first glance feeling she always does when she caughts him looking at her when she's doing the dishes, when he's murmuring words of worship to her when they make love, when he kisses her goodbye before going to work.

"I love you too." She reciprocates his words and kisses him again before they look over at their son, their perfect little ball of happiness, limbs still tangled over the picnic towel from so long ago.


End file.
